We have to become conscious at the stages of our own child within. Remaining unconscious is what empowers the dissociation/escapism of our child within to take possession of our personality at times, to overpower the will of our adult life. we learn to take our child within seriously, and to consciously communicate with that little girl or boy within in its language: to listen to how he or she feels and what he or she needs from us here and now. The often frustrated primal needs of our child within is for love, acceptance, protection, nurturance, understanding--remains the same today as when we were children. we have futilely attempted to force others into fulfilling our infantile needs for us. this is doomed to failure. What we didn't sufficiently receive in the past from our parents as children must be confronted in the present, painful though it may be. The past traumas, sadness, disappointments and depression cannot be changed and must be acknowledged and over time accepted. We have to swallow this "bitter pill," as we call it: that, unfortunately for most of us, certain infantile needs were, maliciously or not, unmet by our imperfect parents or caretakers. And they never will be, no matter how good or smart or attractive or spiritual or loving we become. Those days are fading away as we loosen our grip on old survival strategies. What was done cannot be undone but understanding and solutions for our trauma can be found. We should not as adults now expect others to meet all of these unfulfilled childhood needs. They cannot. The Child Within requires gently both accepting the painful past and the primary responsibility for taking care of our child withins needs.
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