When we have made a decision to proceed forward on our path towards full recovery, different parts of ourselves live at different stages of healing. Some parts can be amazingly healed and insightful, while others can remain buried and out of touch. Our different parts traverse the various stages at their own speeds, seemingly independently – but ultimately connected to our core of perfection by our universal thread of truth the consciousness of our child within. Our child requires gentle coaxing into the sunlight and treating with deep compassion.
The most first stage on The Stages healing journey is our contest stage of development. Within this is the stage of grandiosity, acceptance by the norm, dissociated happiness, and approval by the parents our normal state. These parts of us who feel they are winning the contest stage stop our journey before it has even begun. Here we deny our deepest traumas so intensely that we fool even ourselves into believing they never happened – and that we are already healed. It is for this reason that dissociation mimics recovery. Here we idealise the parents or the group, which allows us full unconscious liberty to replicate the worst of our past in our present. Here we do not look beneath our surface, and if fate goes our way, we will never have to. We remain happily distant from the misery lurking in our minds.
Yet where parts of us lose the contest we evolve into the second stage: the suffering stage. This is the stage of depression, failure, misery, and inertia. Here we wallow in seemingly purposeless dissociated mindless pain. The silver lining around our cloud of parental idealisation has been stripped away, but the cloud remains intact. We still wish to be rescued by our parents and their replicated stand-ins, but we lack the requisite pain tolerance to be able to acknowledge the impossibility of this. Here we live in tortured ambivalence, and we spend out hours and days trying to get others to love us in the way our parents never could. Part of us wishes to devolve back into the seeming pleasure of grandiosity, but the healthier part recalls how cruelly that route already failed us.
Those parts of us with the capacity to face our terrors enter the third stage:the grieving stage. This is the stage of purposeful struggling trying out the stages study. Here we unearth the truth of our past, which allows the eruption of the stinking cesspool of our buried traumas. Here we witness the horror lurking behind idealisation of the parents and we work to disassemble their lies. Our honest confidence leads us into the face of the hurricane, because our regained mind and its allies tell us that blue skies lie on the other side. Here we are humble, here we confront the truth of the worst of our parents, either in interaction with our student guides or through whatever means will best help us integrate the truth, and through this our recovery rages forward. The Child Within at this stage is taking its first tentative steps out of its locked room ,its is angry...very angry, sensitive to the light of truth. The child will rage and screams to be finally at last heard. The Child Within starts to enjoy the joys of freedom, but has yet to feel comfortable in an insane world of the kinder garden.
With each demon we conquer we take a further step into the fourth stage: the recovered stage. Within this is major stage of emotional integration, psychic balance, and inner peace. Here lie the deepest goals of our recovery. All we want to know is the truth, and the recovered person achieves it – in all parts of himself that arrive in our final stage of recovery. Here we grow able to distinguish light from shadow and water from mirage. Here we learn through our experiences how to distinguish societies cultural parent controlling voice.Here we nurture the evolution of our primitive sides instead of expressing them destructively. Here we devote the best of ourselves to studying the healing ten stages. Here we no longer traumatise others in the very patterns in which we were traumatised, but instead replicate the best of ourselves – and generate beauty in the world around us. Here, having healed our wounds, we share and feel ready to start The Ten Stage course work. We meet our student guide and become ready to open ourselves to learning. Remembering that the first four preliminary stages will always be our guide to where we are in our recovery. freely our gifts start to become available, because now our gifts are freely accessible to us as the intuitive voice becomes present. We are now ready to move forward with our studies
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